My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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