batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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