maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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