I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
