How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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