Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
