Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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