Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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