I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
