My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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