Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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