Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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