i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
