Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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