He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
