i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
