Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
