I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
