so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
