Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
