Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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