Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
