I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
