Already got asked if we're dating
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
