When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woke up backwards on a recliner
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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