walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
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I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
a search helicopter?!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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