farters have to be the big spoon...
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.