Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?

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  (817): what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!? http://tfl.nu/lfzq
  Replies (9) Good night (3906) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

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  (508): Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here http://tfl.nu/nzus
  Replies (22) Good night (3813) Bad night (450) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."

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  (740): He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork." http://tfl.nu/fte3
  Replies (28) Good night (5996) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.

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  (920): My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas. http://tfl.nu/6lzb
  Replies (20) Good night (955) Bad night (4822) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

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  (732): The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ? http://tfl.nu/0iqw
  Replies (11) Good night (3952) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"

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  (586): You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared" http://tfl.nu/f1ec
  Replies (19) Good night (5782) Bad night (2570) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.

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  (517): i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go. http://tfl.nu/u5fo
  Replies (13) Good night (2610) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.

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  (403): Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person. http://tfl.nu/qpdl
  Replies (15) Good night (2040) Bad night (2646) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking

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  (801): Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking http://tfl.nu/5hl3
  Replies (11) Good night (3846) Bad night (730) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.

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  (608): She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend. http://tfl.nu/4mn4
  Replies (2) Good night (2061) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  (979): View more from Texas

  For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You. Win. At. Life.

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  (979): For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280. (512): You. Win. At. Life. http://tfl.nu/wgzm
  Replies (34) Good night (2270) Bad night (767)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?

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  (804): No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail? http://tfl.nu/kg64
  Replies (5) Good night (1197) Bad night (634) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.

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  (847): I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet. http://tfl.nu/ancz
  Replies (10) Good night (3821) Bad night (518) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today

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  (760): You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today http://tfl.nu/u74i
  Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.

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  (304): It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town. http://tfl.nu/067f
  Replies (14) Good night (522) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt

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