Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..