is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think a kid would responsible me up
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
