I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
