dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
