I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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