He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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