Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
