This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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