These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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