apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize