i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
