Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize