so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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