Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
