Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize