he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
