There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
