he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
