hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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