...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
