There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
