she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
