I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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