I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
