I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
