Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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