I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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