sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize