gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
