Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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