Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
