I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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