cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
