I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize